I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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