I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
