sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Randomize
