She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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