You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
