All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Randomize
