i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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