There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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