Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Randomize
