I am in a vortex of obligation.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
