I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
