Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
