ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
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She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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