Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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