Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize