Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
