I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
