Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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