So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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