who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
