someone owes me an orgasm
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Never joke about your clitoris.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
