I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
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