you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize