There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
