Im at strip club and am horny
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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