Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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