so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
