do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'll put lettuce on them
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You're a waste of cheezeits