i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
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Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
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You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you