So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
What happened to fro yo and sex?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life