His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
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you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.