the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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