in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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