we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
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I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
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im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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