Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
