Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
