smell my finger.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
