After last night, I could never be a politician.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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