dude i'm inner monologue high
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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