You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We left an ass print on the piano.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
