Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
