you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
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