Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
