What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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