Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
