you would pick up someone in the library
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize