you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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