so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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