So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
he was CRYING into my vagina
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
