Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
