So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
