spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize