I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Randomize
