So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
