That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Randomize
