My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
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There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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