Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Can you bring me the toilet please
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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