6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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