How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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