I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
