God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
