Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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