are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
