so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
