god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Who died my cat blue again?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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