I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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