I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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