i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
