im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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